damn this shit is just bottled up

damn guess when you neglect something for so long it automatically makes you either insane or it comes out one way or another, constantly thinking of something new, something fresh. like trying to put a name to a different kind of feeling an new meaning to another emotion that you contanstantly feel but never addressed. finding it instantaneously effortless to push under the rug, like hiding a secret you never plan to tell, not even a soul. your imaginary friend couldn't even handle the truth....you figure you hate being alone....wait im tripping im supposed to be posting what i just wrote...


wondering why you cant see how i feel
i wish emotions didn't need a manuel.
didnt have blinders stuck on one track..
minded...
love is like sign language, every feeling
means something else. confusing to you
confusing for me. not sure why i cant tell you i love,
not sure why i cant tell you how much you mean to me.
every night you listen to my fears
laughing at my corny jokes,
making sure that the pain that the other dudes caused is gone.
the emotionless night has brought a smile on my face.
never looked at me and only saw a chest,
wishing that i could undress
my mind and let you into my world,
my intellectual realm that doesn't invite intruders,
for those who don't respect the heart,
my heart as a person,
a person feeling everything, every emotion,
with every beat every passion
seeing life threw my painful eyes,
comforting me with your vernacular,
i live vicariously through you,
wishing i had the courage to trust the way you do,
love the way you do, and feel the way you do
one day i will be able to tell you i love you
but until that moment, i will continue
to wish that i could be there for you
as you are there for me.
to comfort me, to hold me to love me
for everything that you see, for everything
that is me.
respect my mind, respect my heart
treating my love like baby teeth growing in
slipping rum on my gums to ease the pain.
numbing my fingers to the touch. taking away
the rush, the rush that i feel when i come across
your name, engraved in my heart, forever
never shall we part, because you are the good
in my heart, the part that pushes me,
pushes me to love, learn, go out and smile
experience life again. and for a fact i know
that no matter which way the wind blows
you will always be in my soul.
ViNTAGE T

well yeah...i don't know myself.