funny thing

dont look at you the same way as i use too.
feel like im talkin to a stranger when we conversate.
nothings right ever since the last time we spoke
leaving questions unanswered an emotions unspoken
my heart still bleeds the very same way from when you walked out of my life that night
my mind isnt on the same path because now, what i was so sure of, turned my beaten path to a road of rocks and turmoil.
we knew that it was wrong
but continued to persue what we thought we could've had.
an might i add that night i saw a different side to you
you saw a different side to yourself you didnt know you had in you.
from past relationships you tried to burry that part of you life vowing to never let anyone get as close as she once did.
keeping your secrets locked in the bottom of your heart.
your actions are completly different from your thoughts and emotions.
a wise man once said we love with our minds not our emotions.
trynin not to let our emotions be our final judgement call on our lives.
since we last spoke my heart didnt know whether it should beat, stop flutter or break.
as we once tried to speak of this anguish this heartache it lead to us to believe we lost something we intially tried not to harm.
our friendship
we stepped out of reality an stepped out of what we are comfortable in
we travelled to a world unknown an even though its hard to admitt we both appricated each other for taking the journey and holding hands.
we we're still wet behind the ears an instead of persuing what we now know was real, we let it die out like a candle light.
damn how i wish things were the same.

i wrote it for this situation i saw my roomie in. this is about a shorty an this guy shes diggin. it jus happened to be her friends ex. she saw how shorty did him wrong, an knew what he was gettin into, but kept to herself cuz she didnt wanna get involved. but um yeah they started fuckin with each other on that level an that 'night' they closed the deal by you know whatever. but yeah instead of moving on with it, they decided to dead it. sucks that they are jus friends cuz we can all see that they need to be together.

its been a long time.

havent really been using my blog for some reason. i guess when shorty got at me for showing my older bro some love, i stopped using it. but fuck it right, cant let one person stop you from living. so i really started this blog for my writing purposes. so with out further interruptions heres one that i jus recently wrote. yall might not get it but, its still good.

-when first mention your name brings up painful memories from the past that are supposed to be burried from the bottom of hearts.
sometimes brought on by negative conotation, no one has anything good to say.
while we shamelessly utter your name with no respect for what the future may hold.
even if it falls on def ears nothing seems to be the same.
while flirting with the thought of being able to spend a lifetime built off your name is something that hinders people like me to get close to a person like you.
your name isnt what brings me home every night.
your title doesnt effect the way he holds me tight
the bullshit he says is configured with your name at the end, hoping a wishing that things will be the same, but never again shall i look at you the same.


.so that one was dedicated to love. break it down, everytime someone ask if you've been in love all the positive an negative shit resurfaces, even tho you've tried to burry it. an to make it worse, if you've been cheated on, your spouse usually says i love you or whatever tries to cover up.