the subconscious

Tonight is just like any other night. But for some reason I can't drift to sleep. I've been watching back to back episodes of fresh prince on nick at night, and now roseanne is on. I'm not sure why it's 5am and I'm wide awake. Okay so I have a yawn here and there but nothing major.

So ever so often my mind wanders to memories of my ex and I, and I feel as if I'm slightly almost 100% over dude. Now years back (2 to be exact) I posted something on him; and ever so often I reminisce on what we had. Although it's long gone, I guess it's still in the back of my head. Just taunting me.
-when love is/was as strong as ours, it'll/its gonna take a while to get over it.


I've been jamming hard to my ipod, hoping that something would get me to drift to sleep but as minutes roll on I just realize the mass amounts of crap that I need to focus on. Here's a quick rundown..

•Take two rolls of film
•Develop three rolls
•Do 48 pages of the yearbook for my may 4th deadline
•do a stop animation video
•finish two triptics (6 paintings in total)
•and take pictures at events for yearbook
•organize meetings for other crap...

Yeah I've officially put wayy to many things on my plate. But I like being busy, having to much time on my hands makes me believe that I'm not fulfilling my master plan to take over the world.

I'll keep you posted.

P.S I saw on a blog that this girl gets severe panic attacks and asked for advice. --i wish I knew how to control mine, but I just take breathers and go through each memory that replays in my mind and think of things that calm you down.

...You might think we're crazy but panic attacks and anxiety isn't funny at all

i wanna be down.

caps and gowns are crowding the halls of my school. smh im staying another semester to fulfill a minor in business. rawr! its cool, at first i was tight that i had to stay, but since two of my best friends are staying an extra semester i figure i'd be iight. its not the end of the world, seeing that i didnt apply to grad school smh 2x lol. but i'll get around to it. im slowly trying to take over my school. trust me, i've been doing more shit now than i've ever done in the past 4 years. lol..


..so to enjoy the last two weeks of living on campus, i'll be grinding, acting a fool, enjoying everything to the fullest!

p.s shouts to my best homie for graduating! and my homies that are walking MAY 15! congrats on showing the world that minorities know how to do other things than sell drugs, gang-bang and act igkant~ yes i said IGKNAT!!!

pps to my friends that do gang-bang, its '09 time to give that up and get a clue. i still love yall tho

home-less

I am home-less
Spending more time home-less
More than I use to be
I shower-less
Since I'm home-less
Always roaming like I don't have a home-less
I shift between crowds losing my self
I ignore my surroundings and think-less
And believe I'll be swept under
With the people who know-less
Than I do
People who do more than I do
But their shade-less
Nothing to cover their fake-ness
Some say I'm sense-less
I have everything one needs
But I'm still home-less
Forgetting what drove me
I'm gas-less
No inspiration for where I'm going
Just roaming around.
I'm home-less
In my mind I try to put my thoughts in a box
But nothings big enough
Since my minds filled with empty-ness
I'll always be home-less

inspire

one of my homies is heavily into Keith Haring and his work. At first I really didn't understand why; but I decided to work on his piece and flip it and make it my own for my last triptic piece. (a series of 3 paintings) i like his simplistic yet complicated message that he delivers in his pieces. google him <-- like my homie said lol

the last one

the picture frame helps you to step back, and look at everything in a different perspective. it usually looks different from a different day and different day of emotion.

the last two are sideways but oh well

rawr.

this one is anger. beauty started with the roses and the petals. but um yeah anger took over and ruined the flowers. this is the ending result

where it is now

this one is the function of the heart, there's a clock that represents the misuse of time and how it can harm the heart.

the beginning

ahh the beginning of my painting series. represents the stages of emotions from my view point. anger, frustration and confusion and any other adjective that you believe it can represent.

Pics

Randoms...turn to Fishbowls

tons of crazy shit this past week or two. im basically over it. ahh not graduating in May like i planned i'll be getting my diploma in August, and hopefully i'll be in grad school soon *sept* to be exact! i went through some crazy shit and im calm, a better person, even my teacher thought i was on medication since i was so calm in class the past couple of days. well enough talking here are some random pics