lol sorry guys heres my favorite spot
Thursday, August 24, 2006
busyy bumble bee *me*
soo my day started in woodbury commons an well ended at 4am. when i waltzed my ass in the house. i bounced to my job (lacoste) to cop my check. tried to deposit the shit an then bank was straight trippin on me. so im like whatever imma jus take it to manhattan where my moms works (this bitch is the shittt she does EVERYTHING FOR ME) i mean EVERYTHING. speedin tickets, tickets, phone bill, court dates (stupid shit) bills, an my money this lady handles it all, school tution an loans an grants an my scholarship. makes sure i get my ass to meetings an shit for school make sure i got money in my pocket. shit i dont know what id do without her. but anyway we headed for my favorite spot after she left (she works for lawyers nosy people) right on 59th & 5th. we hit my favorite spot in central park 
bam! nice ass view at 6pm. sun was still out, shitt i had a ball. then i hit the R train to head out to soho...grabbed a slice of pizza an then hit the corner an bammm DoPE BoYY C himself. then i got my hsl gear. mom dukes aint undastand how i aint packed but i got my outfits planned for school. (I GAVE UP MY CREDIT CARDDD PEOPLE) wtf, for yall who know me, i spend money like its not a thing. trust me!
a sweet apology
soo mr. weekend decided to apologize to me, for actin like a fuckin jerk. i gracefully accept but then again i hadd to be rude, he basically said im a mean cold hearted person an he tries to treat me nice, but im jus soo sarcastic that he cant deal with it anymore. i concured an said "well you dont care, so why should i give a fuck". neither wants a relationship so why should i sit there and front like im not catchin feelings? well blah blah blah. jeez, why me? i sware. maybe mr. weekend is right, maybe i am too mean, but shh bump that i have to be mean, if not people start to take advantage of you, think that a little sweet talk could make everything better. noooo wrong again. but i cant blame him for tryin. well actually i can. he was the one that decided to talk to me. soo now as usual im stick in neutral. mr. baby moma is still there, but i dont want to be apart of something that im not going to give my all. feel me? is that soo hard to get. if im not in it to win it, then shit i dont want to even sign myself up for the race. (if i dont plan on seeing it through to the finish line) why is it everytime a relationship goes wrong, either homosexual relationship or heterosexual(whichever you prefer) do we blame the entire fall out on someone else? we constantly factor in other people into our relationship. we start to depend on the advice of our friends an family, an start to listen to everyone else, rather than our own hearts, an the one that has to wake up to us every morning, or deal with our constant whining on how life/love/work whatever is to much to handle.
i will admitt that i am at least 55% the reason why mr. baby moma got himself into this situation, but we broke up before i moved into school my freshmen year. sept we tried to make it work but constantly fought, he didnt want to come visit me, an didnt want me comin to brooklyn to see him...hmmm if youre in a relationship shouldnt half the battle be on spending quality time with one another. seeing that it wasnt in his best interest to be with me, i fronted hard like i was talkin to someone else. jus to try an ease the pain. but it didnt work, it backfired. we got back together because mr. baby moma, an now baby moma got into a fight over me. once again my fault for takin him back sooo quick. i mean shit we really never talk about our problems. no one in relationships do anymore. speakin of which why the hell do people go to relationship conselours? that shit makes no sense to me. shit we need to be adults an sit down an talk about our problems. not just brush it under the carpet like we usually do. an to make it worse, mr. baby moma is a cancer, as well as i. we both have these crazy ass mood swings, an at times just want to be alone, thats what cancers do, we fight, stay home, laugh an well make up. just dont understand this relationship thing anymore.
when my peoples use to blame their ex's for not being able to love again i thought they were jus usin it as an excuse to just randomly sleep with people. but in actuality they have a point. everytime i try an met a new friend, (not boyfriend, not soul mate) if he cant come to my ex's standards then i dont want to deal with it. i guess me an mr. baby moma had so much goin for us, we stopped communicating an fell apart. where did we go wrong?
i will admitt that i am at least 55% the reason why mr. baby moma got himself into this situation, but we broke up before i moved into school my freshmen year. sept we tried to make it work but constantly fought, he didnt want to come visit me, an didnt want me comin to brooklyn to see him...hmmm if youre in a relationship shouldnt half the battle be on spending quality time with one another. seeing that it wasnt in his best interest to be with me, i fronted hard like i was talkin to someone else. jus to try an ease the pain. but it didnt work, it backfired. we got back together because mr. baby moma, an now baby moma got into a fight over me. once again my fault for takin him back sooo quick. i mean shit we really never talk about our problems. no one in relationships do anymore. speakin of which why the hell do people go to relationship conselours? that shit makes no sense to me. shit we need to be adults an sit down an talk about our problems. not just brush it under the carpet like we usually do. an to make it worse, mr. baby moma is a cancer, as well as i. we both have these crazy ass mood swings, an at times just want to be alone, thats what cancers do, we fight, stay home, laugh an well make up. just dont understand this relationship thing anymore.
when my peoples use to blame their ex's for not being able to love again i thought they were jus usin it as an excuse to just randomly sleep with people. but in actuality they have a point. everytime i try an met a new friend, (not boyfriend, not soul mate) if he cant come to my ex's standards then i dont want to deal with it. i guess me an mr. baby moma had so much goin for us, we stopped communicating an fell apart. where did we go wrong?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
MY DREAMMSSS got me TRIPPIN
iight so im havin these crazy ass dreams about me an..well i cant really call him my ex, cuz we didnt break up, an hes not my boyfriend cuz i really dont think he deserves that title right now, but well call him mr. baby moma. iight so i got into a fight with mr. weekend [someone who i wsa feelin an usually spend the weekends with, but decided to try an play me] an my pops was like wtf why are you catchin feelings, this isnt like you. an im like whatever im jus fed up with guys, an girls, (im not bi sexual either) but my female friends are actin straight stupid.
but anyway on with my dream. when i get home im soo fuckin tired i usually jus end up crashin on my damn couch, never make it to my room. but i have insomnia an i barely sleep, so im workin on like 3 hours being interrupted an shit. but iight now im blabbling. well anyway with my dream. i get off the phone with mr. weekend an finally drift off to sleep..an in this dream everyone was at my grandparents mansion in new york (location is disclosed thanks to nosy people) an mr. baby moma was gettin married to his baby moma, an yes they was havin the weddin at my house. so while mr. baby moma an his well baby moma slept in one room i was in the one right across the hall. i sneaked out my room to see if he was sleepin an he was layin in the bed starrin at the sky, he must've saw me cuz he got up to 'go to the bathroom'. we snuck out the house an had the best time ever. we laughed like it was old times, told each other we loved the other more now then we ever did. then mr. baby moma did something he never did before. he actually apologized for gettin married an if he didnt have his son then we'd be married. but whatever. mr. baby moma made me cry an we started to think of all the shit we been through since we was together in '00. shitt thats the love of my life, but i think he was doin the right thing by being with his baby moma.
NOW i aint one to try an mess up a happy home, but he was jus there to 'do the right thing' sooo which leads me to this conclusion, does my dream mean that i should let mr. baby moma goo? if so how do you walk away from 4 solid years? an to make it worse should i jus wait for mr. honest? (who isnt real but i need someone who is gonna be honest with me) an move on? shittt i love mr. baby moma, an i really care about mr. weekend but right now, i think i need to do me. an keep it 100 with everyone, i jus realized that i lost myself when mr. baby moma had a son, i began to hold my tongue an watched my emotions an kept shit to myself. i never done that before. i never control my emotions (guess thats why they call me carl thomas) but yeah im back on my grind. shitttt
but anyway on with my dream. when i get home im soo fuckin tired i usually jus end up crashin on my damn couch, never make it to my room. but i have insomnia an i barely sleep, so im workin on like 3 hours being interrupted an shit. but iight now im blabbling. well anyway with my dream. i get off the phone with mr. weekend an finally drift off to sleep..an in this dream everyone was at my grandparents mansion in new york (location is disclosed thanks to nosy people) an mr. baby moma was gettin married to his baby moma, an yes they was havin the weddin at my house. so while mr. baby moma an his well baby moma slept in one room i was in the one right across the hall. i sneaked out my room to see if he was sleepin an he was layin in the bed starrin at the sky, he must've saw me cuz he got up to 'go to the bathroom'. we snuck out the house an had the best time ever. we laughed like it was old times, told each other we loved the other more now then we ever did. then mr. baby moma did something he never did before. he actually apologized for gettin married an if he didnt have his son then we'd be married. but whatever. mr. baby moma made me cry an we started to think of all the shit we been through since we was together in '00. shitt thats the love of my life, but i think he was doin the right thing by being with his baby moma.
NOW i aint one to try an mess up a happy home, but he was jus there to 'do the right thing' sooo which leads me to this conclusion, does my dream mean that i should let mr. baby moma goo? if so how do you walk away from 4 solid years? an to make it worse should i jus wait for mr. honest? (who isnt real but i need someone who is gonna be honest with me) an move on? shittt i love mr. baby moma, an i really care about mr. weekend but right now, i think i need to do me. an keep it 100 with everyone, i jus realized that i lost myself when mr. baby moma had a son, i began to hold my tongue an watched my emotions an kept shit to myself. i never done that before. i never control my emotions (guess thats why they call me carl thomas) but yeah im back on my grind. shitttt
Sunday, August 06, 2006
summer is FINALLY poppin!
well lets see.. my weekend was poppin out of control. lets start off with the best interview ever. so i got a chance to interview dope boy c. everyone loves him he's soo fly. but honestly one of the most down to earth people i ever met in my entire life. 
. (here he is) i sware this is the realest person i know, no matter how hot he gets, or how many celebs he's worked with, he's still the same nigga that he was when he was in highschool....himself...money hasn't changed him! well anyway on with the blog. the interview was great, i got to work on my skills, an im working on gettin my foot in the door with my teaching/writin thing. keep ya eyes open for me! the interview went well into the next morning 6am to be exact. but dope boy c was maddd cool an showed a first timer how to do it big. well on thurs i went to roxy. it WAS supposed to be spirit but spirit was actin crazy so they moved it. my outfit...well you'll have to wait to see that one, i was truly naked. came home took a shower an went right back to work no sleep. friday got home from work at 10 hit the showers an then right back out. (no full body shot, but you know it works the same) my outfit. 
mini skirt an a lacoste polo some flats an some acc. when you fly you dont need that much to stand out. well i invited some people from different crews an the night ended in tears an a phone call (i didnt do the cryin) but sho nuff niggaz was wil cuz they couldnt hold they liq. came home at 7. no sleep really. stayed up went to work an came home. realized ive been slackin on my blog, an well, here i am! lol.
. (here he is) i sware this is the realest person i know, no matter how hot he gets, or how many celebs he's worked with, he's still the same nigga that he was when he was in highschool....himself...money hasn't changed him! well anyway on with the blog. the interview was great, i got to work on my skills, an im working on gettin my foot in the door with my teaching/writin thing. keep ya eyes open for me! the interview went well into the next morning 6am to be exact. but dope boy c was maddd cool an showed a first timer how to do it big. well on thurs i went to roxy. it WAS supposed to be spirit but spirit was actin crazy so they moved it. my outfit...well you'll have to wait to see that one, i was truly naked. came home took a shower an went right back to work no sleep. friday got home from work at 10 hit the showers an then right back out. (no full body shot, but you know it works the same) my outfit. 
mini skirt an a lacoste polo some flats an some acc. when you fly you dont need that much to stand out. well i invited some people from different crews an the night ended in tears an a phone call (i didnt do the cryin) but sho nuff niggaz was wil cuz they couldnt hold they liq. came home at 7. no sleep really. stayed up went to work an came home. realized ive been slackin on my blog, an well, here i am! lol.
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