soo mr. weekend decided to apologize to me, for actin like a fuckin jerk. i gracefully accept but then again i hadd to be rude, he basically said im a mean cold hearted person an he tries to treat me nice, but im jus soo sarcastic that he cant deal with it anymore. i concured an said "well you dont care, so why should i give a fuck". neither wants a relationship so why should i sit there and front like im not catchin feelings? well blah blah blah. jeez, why me? i sware. maybe mr. weekend is right, maybe i am too mean, but shh bump that i have to be mean, if not people start to take advantage of you, think that a little sweet talk could make everything better. noooo wrong again. but i cant blame him for tryin. well actually i can. he was the one that decided to talk to me. soo now as usual im stick in neutral. mr. baby moma is still there, but i dont want to be apart of something that im not going to give my all. feel me? is that soo hard to get. if im not in it to win it, then shit i dont want to even sign myself up for the race. (if i dont plan on seeing it through to the finish line) why is it everytime a relationship goes wrong, either homosexual relationship or heterosexual(whichever you prefer) do we blame the entire fall out on someone else? we constantly factor in other people into our relationship. we start to depend on the advice of our friends an family, an start to listen to everyone else, rather than our own hearts, an the one that has to wake up to us every morning, or deal with our constant whining on how life/love/work whatever is to much to handle.
i will admitt that i am at least 55% the reason why mr. baby moma got himself into this situation, but we broke up before i moved into school my freshmen year. sept we tried to make it work but constantly fought, he didnt want to come visit me, an didnt want me comin to brooklyn to see him...hmmm if youre in a relationship shouldnt half the battle be on spending quality time with one another. seeing that it wasnt in his best interest to be with me, i fronted hard like i was talkin to someone else. jus to try an ease the pain. but it didnt work, it backfired. we got back together because mr. baby moma, an now baby moma got into a fight over me. once again my fault for takin him back sooo quick. i mean shit we really never talk about our problems. no one in relationships do anymore. speakin of which why the hell do people go to relationship conselours? that shit makes no sense to me. shit we need to be adults an sit down an talk about our problems. not just brush it under the carpet like we usually do. an to make it worse, mr. baby moma is a cancer, as well as i. we both have these crazy ass mood swings, an at times just want to be alone, thats what cancers do, we fight, stay home, laugh an well make up. just dont understand this relationship thing anymore.
when my peoples use to blame their ex's for not being able to love again i thought they were jus usin it as an excuse to just randomly sleep with people. but in actuality they have a point. everytime i try an met a new friend, (not boyfriend, not soul mate) if he cant come to my ex's standards then i dont want to deal with it. i guess me an mr. baby moma had so much goin for us, we stopped communicating an fell apart. where did we go wrong?
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