iight so im havin these crazy ass dreams about me an..well i cant really call him my ex, cuz we didnt break up, an hes not my boyfriend cuz i really dont think he deserves that title right now, but well call him mr. baby moma. iight so i got into a fight with mr. weekend [someone who i wsa feelin an usually spend the weekends with, but decided to try an play me] an my pops was like wtf why are you catchin feelings, this isnt like you. an im like whatever im jus fed up with guys, an girls, (im not bi sexual either) but my female friends are actin straight stupid.
but anyway on with my dream. when i get home im soo fuckin tired i usually jus end up crashin on my damn couch, never make it to my room. but i have insomnia an i barely sleep, so im workin on like 3 hours being interrupted an shit. but iight now im blabbling. well anyway with my dream. i get off the phone with mr. weekend an finally drift off to sleep..an in this dream everyone was at my grandparents mansion in new york (location is disclosed thanks to nosy people) an mr. baby moma was gettin married to his baby moma, an yes they was havin the weddin at my house. so while mr. baby moma an his well baby moma slept in one room i was in the one right across the hall. i sneaked out my room to see if he was sleepin an he was layin in the bed starrin at the sky, he must've saw me cuz he got up to 'go to the bathroom'. we snuck out the house an had the best time ever. we laughed like it was old times, told each other we loved the other more now then we ever did. then mr. baby moma did something he never did before. he actually apologized for gettin married an if he didnt have his son then we'd be married. but whatever. mr. baby moma made me cry an we started to think of all the shit we been through since we was together in '00. shitt thats the love of my life, but i think he was doin the right thing by being with his baby moma.
NOW i aint one to try an mess up a happy home, but he was jus there to 'do the right thing' sooo which leads me to this conclusion, does my dream mean that i should let mr. baby moma goo? if so how do you walk away from 4 solid years? an to make it worse should i jus wait for mr. honest? (who isnt real but i need someone who is gonna be honest with me) an move on? shittt i love mr. baby moma, an i really care about mr. weekend but right now, i think i need to do me. an keep it 100 with everyone, i jus realized that i lost myself when mr. baby moma had a son, i began to hold my tongue an watched my emotions an kept shit to myself. i never done that before. i never control my emotions (guess thats why they call me carl thomas) but yeah im back on my grind. shitttt
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